They were chasing Doctor Death or someone very smelly. For seven days and seven nights they searched the seven seas. On the eighth day they lost hope. They lost the coast, too. They were lost.
“Don’t worry,” said his father. “Everything is okay.”
The waves grew bigger and bigger, and their boat filled with water. Well, it wasn’t really a boat; it was an old hotel bathtub. Sharks and waves knocked against their tub. Maybe it was their last adventure.
“Dad, I feel thirsty and hungry. I feel like I could drink the sea dry,” Cootie said. His father didn’t like the sound of that. He stood up and said,
“What a beautiful sea! Wow! Look around you!”
The bathtub leaned and the old man slipped and his arms went flying and as he crashed to the bottom he pulled the plug. Water filled the tub.
“DAD!! WE’RE SINKING!”
“Stay calm, son. We have a few minutes left. Enjoy them.” Then he stood up again, put one foot on the edge of the tub and moved his arms in circles. “Ahhh! Wowzers and holy schmoly! What an amazing world! Drink it up, son! Open your senses! Look, I can see the end of the world!”
“DAD! Help me empty the tub,” said the terrified boy as he splashed water out of the sinking tub.
“Forget it! Smell the air! Can you smell the salt of the sea? Ahhhhhh. It’s delicious. And listen, I can hear the universe breathing.”
“Dad, I’m still young. Please, help me!”
“Boy, if you want to live, us your seven senses!”
“Seven – seven? Dad, stop talking nonsense! We only have five senses. We can hear, see, smell, taste and touch,” he said, splashing madly.
“Son, I can taste you, touch you, see you, hear you but I can also humor you. Our sense of humor is an important sense. I mean, just taste this seawater. It’s,” he said as he scooped up a handful of salty water and drank and cried out “AGGHGEBBLAH!!!!!” in a spray of seawater. “Sorry, son, it tastes like your mother’s sweat.”
Cootie turned green. “I forgot about your sense of humor.”
Cootie’s father tried to grab a floating bar of soap. He wanted to wash.
“Dad, do you have a sense of right and wrong?”
The soap floated away; John reached for it.
“Dad, careful. Keep your balance! DAD! LOOK OUT!”
John fell overboard, into a wave, and cried, “Swim away while they eat me!” Before Cootie could text message his mother, a plastic helicopter flew at them from the bathroom door. Rose Bugle, his mother, stood there, hands on her hips.
“And who will clean up this mess?” she cried, pointing at the water and soap on the floor.
